Dear Janice,

I’ve longed for a puppy, so when my partner surprised me at Christmas with a pair of lovebirds I was gobsmacked, (He said he was being romantic).

They are basically small parrots which are constantly chirping, but they’re aggressive towards me and I hate them.

He thinks they are amazing. He hand-feeds them, and talks to them more than he does me.

He fills the sink for them to bathe in, but I don’t recall him ever running me a bath.

Now, he wants to bring them into our bedroom at night time. No chance.

I read they can live up to 15 years which is depressing.

I feel like opening the window and letting them escape, but he would flip.

What do you suggest?

Lisa.

 

Dear Lisa,

I think your partner just bought himself a Christmas present.

Chirping means the lovebirds are happy, however, you’re certainly not chirping, so what can you do?

It would be cruel to let them fly away, so please don’t ‘mistakenly’ open a window.

You could feign a sudden allergic reaction, but if coughing and wheezing doesn’t convince your partner that they have to go, you need to try and bond with them, or look at rehoming them.

That said, I suspect an underlying thread of jealousy towards these birds from you, so perhaps all is not so great in your relationship because you don’t seem to be getting the reactions and affection from your partner you seek. He is likely clueless about this, so have a honest and frank chat with him as things need to change.

I hope it all works out and all four of you live harmoniously ever after.

 

 

Dear Janice,

We have reshuffled our office and I’m now in a smaller room with six other people.

One sniffs constantly. One crunches crisps with his mouth open. One chomps on an apple like a horse. One taps her nails on her desk like a constant drip of water. One shouts on the telephone instead of speaking, and the last one slurps every bloody cup of coffee she drinks.

I start my day promising myself I’ll be calm and not get irritated, but almost immediately my back is up and I need to leave the room.

I hate work now but what can I do?

Steven.

 

Dear Steven.

You are suffering from Misophonia where everyday sounds cause you distress and anger.

When you are extremely sensitive to specific sounds, this hypersensitivity prompts a fight or flight reaction where unbearable anger and rage can take over. But thankfully for you, you leave the room rather than lash out at anyone.

Be honest with your colleagues and ask for their help. Also, explain this condition to your boss who may allow background music in the office.

Could you wear noise-cancelling headphones? Are there ways to distract yourself?

If all else fails, therapy has proven to be effective. I wish you luck.

 

Got a question for our agony aunt? Email askjanice@glasgowtimes.co.uk