Dear Janice, I’ve been seeing a boy for a few months now and we get on really well.

The thing is, my dad instantly disliked him when he found out he’s not at the same school or the same religion.

My mum says dad’s parents had the same views and that I should just ignore his remarks, but it’s not that easy.

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If dad’s football team are playing his temper is worse. He either mocks my boyfriend if they win, or he gets a mouthful if they lose, and it’s much worse if it’s an Old Firm game.

I dread taking my boyfriend to my house as we don’t know what we are walking in to.

My boyfriend says he can handle my dad’s behaviour, but why should he?

Emma.

Dear Emma, it’s sad that you’re getting the brunt of your dad’s generational intolerance and bigotry.

Perhaps it’s up to you to break the cycle of hate however, that doesn’t help your present situation.

Your mum has clearly accepted her environment, so don’t expect any help from her.

Particularly during the football season, avoid taking your boyfriend to your home, as he shouldn’t have to ‘handle’ your dad’s narrow-mindedness.

If your dad notices you’re avoiding him, tell him straight that you are embarrassed and humiliated that a grown man behaves in such a way towards a schoolkid (or anyone for that matter), and let him ponder on his bigoted behaviour.

I doubt he will change, but perhaps if he could reign in his prejudice towards your boyfriend, it would be a start. Good luck.

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Dear Janice, I always seem to be in competition with my partner, and I hate it.

No matter what I do, he has already done it, only faster, better, and more efficient than me.

He earns more, he drives a better car and even looks better (according to him).

He puts me down, but not in obvious ways, but with small indiscrete smirks and mumbled comments.

No one else seems to notice and I have asked him to cut it out, but he doesn’t.

I love him, but often I don’t like him.

How can I change things?

Alison.

Dear Alison, nonverbal communication is very powerful and is often hidden, sly, controlled and out of sight of others, which makes it more devastating in many ways because only you know what’s really going on.

You could treat him in the same way but the conflict you hate now would likely turn into a full-scale war.

You have tried and failed to change his condescending treatment towards you, so I would give up on that.

There are many other things I could suggest, but it all feels like far too much effort on your part to save an unhappy and controlling relationship.

It’s time to take stock, and if the bad times outweigh the good, and if you’re sad more often than happy, you know it’s time to throw in the towel.