BILLY and Tim writer Des Dillon was faced with a giant hangover-sized headache when it came to casting a comedy character for his football bigotry follow-up.

 

Des had to find someone who could play an entirely convincing ghostly ned in the world premiere of Billy, Tim and the Wee Glesga Ghost.

Now, there are thousands of neds out there who look the part. But Des needed someone who didn't drink Buckfast for breakfast in real life.

He needed someone who could act, and who is a comedy natural.

Thankfully, the writer remembered the work of Neil Bratchpiece. And it's a piece of perfect casting.

Neil's ned rap character The Wee Man has attracted an incredible seven million hits (and counting) on YouTube.

Now, Neil, who grew up in Motherwell, is delighted to be appearing at the Pavilion Theatre as Des's ideal ned.

"It's great to be part of this play," says Neil of the hilarious sequel, in which the Rangers and the Celtic fans find themselves in an infirmary, and talking to a dead ned only they can see.

"I'm glad Des has been aware of my ned because the script is really funny."

Thirty-one year-old Neil knows all about funny. He's been performing stand up since he was a schoolboy when his former Herald journalist dad coaxed Neil and his brother up onto the comedy stage.

Neil and his pal in fact won the Glasgow heat of the Fanta Teen Comedy Awards.

"The finals were at the London Comedy Store, compered by Jonathan Ross," he recalls. " It was my very first gig, and not a bad start."

He adds, grinning; "It's gone rapidly downhill since then."

It hasn't at all. Neil has continued to work in stand-up and on television in the likes of BBC comedy Scot Squad.

And he is also involved with Insane Championship Wrestling, which has its strong comedic elements.

Neil began working with the wrestling teams at Maryhill Community Centre, now the concept has grown to the extent he'll appear at the SECC in November.

"I'm a manager of the tag team," he says, smiling. "I come on and performs introductions and wind up opponents.

"It's really a lot like stand-up and I get to use a few topical jokes in the process, except I often get my **** booted and my head jumped on.

"But I get to throw jokes at over a thousand people and they come back at me. It's great fun."

He adds, grinning; "Check it out on YouTube."

Neil is of course far from a ned in real life. He studied English, Film and Television Studies at Glasgow University.

Even the scar on his face featured in his videos is fake.

"We were filming in Govan once and this guy stopped his car and shouted, 'You're not a real ned!' They can smell their own."

While Neil's ned has become an internet sensation, he puts it down to accident rather than design.

"I never intended to be an on-line guy," he says. "I'm actually a bit of a technophobe. I'm actually quite shy in real life, and this is reflected in my attitude to the internet.

"But when I make a video as the Wee Man it just seems to be really successful. I make a video then think 'Right, that'll do me for a year." He adds, laughing; "I'm the Stanley Kubrick of YouTube."

Does he make money from the videos?

"No, I think you have to put up regular content to make money."

He adds, smiling; "I get a bit angry to be honest when I hear about people making money from putting up videos in which they talk about how they had highlights put in their hair that day."

"But I've never thought of doing something on a regular basis. It's not me.

"My idea is the videos are a bit of fun, and if they lead to making money by more conventional ways then great."

Neil, who hosts Rap Battle Shows monthly at the Stand comedy club in Glasgow, isn't a trained actor.

"But I've appeared in a few plays before however," he says. "So I feel confident enough about appearing at the Pavilion.

"In fact, I'm really looking forward to it. I can't wait to hear the reaction from the audience."

He adds, grinning; "I've played the ned enough to have an idea of what works on stage."

He's never played a ghost however.

"Yes, but I've died a few times on stage," he says, grinning.

"I did the O2 Academy a couple of years ago and appeared in the final of a stand-up competition.

"But within a couple of minutes on stage I wished I were a ghost. "

He adds, laughing; "I'm not still affected by it. Living in Glasgow we know there are far worst things people can do to you than be silent."

*Billy and Tim and the Wee Glesga Ghost, The Pavilion Theatre, May 6-23.