IT’S all change for Des Clarke. 12 months ago, he couldn’t do basic skills which most people in their 20s had in the bag.
When I sat down with him two weeks ago, Des had just passed his driving test – he’s 38.
“For me it’s been the most unbelievable year.” says Des.
“This year marks about 12 months since I did Des Clarke’s triathlon where I had to learn basic skills that I should have learned as a child – driving, swimming and cycling.
“It’s just been me looking at my life going ‘what happened?’
“So, what I’ve done is broken myself down and built myself back up again.”
This is what Des’ show ‘Broken’ is all about, sorting his life out.
“The show is at The Garage which is good, it seems like the right place for a new driver to end up at.
“Glasgow has proper Scottish people – I love Edinburgh and have done the Fringe. Edinburgh’s good at attracting tourists, which is good, you get a good feeling for how funny you’d be if you were gigging in Paraguay but there’s also something about seeing how funny you are in Possil.
According to Des, ‘Broken’ involves getting a lot off his chest. After doing stand-up, the breakfast show, and writing TV and radio shows, there’s a lot which Des never got round to doing.
“I’ve probably had this attitude of ‘I don’t need to do that’” says Des.
“I can get places without driving, so I don’t. I’m not a fish so I don’t need to swim.
“There’s also an element of the older you get, the more scared you get because you deal with the consequences.
“When you’re learning to drive when you’re older it’s different. You think ‘what if I die – I’ve got a mortgage, who’s gonna pay for that?’ When you’re 17 you don’t care.
“My dad was a brickie, so was a really practical guy and then there’s me – I talk for a living, that’s not work, that’s a hobby. I think I took his work ethic with me, but none of his skills.
“I want to say there was a great epiphany with a guy coming out of the clouds and saying ‘Des, sort your life out’, but it was more me waking up and being fed up of making excuses.”
Des has always been a comedian in some form or another, before working on the breakfast show at Capital, stand-up was his main passion, even from a young age.
The focus was always on what he knows and loves, rather than learning something new.
“My focuses would be other stuff: comedy, work, and just staying alive – maybe in that order, staying alive a distant third.” Says Des.
“I’d always watch comedy shows as a kid and try and guess the punchline. When people watch TV or see shows as a pastime, I think I should claim that as a taxable benefit when I was a kid, because it was definitely research.
“Doing a radio show every day takes up a lot of time. Getting up at 5, there’s just me, the milkman, some foxes and people crying coming out of casinos.
“In the last year I’ve developed a life. I’m much happier – I work just the same but I schedule in a lot more.”
The last few months have seen other changes in his life. Des is back in the dating game, and the scene has changed in the years since he was a single man.
“Dating again is alien to me,” says Des.
“Last time I dated there were no apps. It’s been good fun and a learning experience – but I’ve not gone on the apps. I should, but I just don’t want a stranger swiping me. I also know someone will come up to you and say ‘I saw you on Tinder’ – it’s a bit different to ‘I saw you on the telly’.
“It’s more old-school, it’s going on nights out and meeting people and trying to talk to people.
“But it’s been a total learning experience – it’s feels like a job interview where you’re not guaranteed to get a job in the end.
“I used to have this idea that it was better that they didn’t know who I am or what I do, then a few of my mates said to me ‘if I were you, that’s exactly what I’d use to get dates’
“But you see through that very quickly, and now I’m a lot more comfortable in my own skin. After five or 10 minutes, you either get on with someone or you don’t.
“I know so many people who pretend they do different jobs and pretend stuff about themselves that aren’t true, and then hope by the time they tell the partner the truth, they’re already married with three kids.”
Des Clarke will perform Broken at Garage on March 29-30 as part of Whyte & Mackay Glasgow International Comedy Festival.
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