My week at COP26 in Glasgow and how I got dinghied by Leonardo Di Caprio

Walking through the Exhibition Hall at COP 26, browsing at the stands from countries around the world, I was aware one of the many entourages, that were barrelling though the venue, was sweeping towards me.

The man in the middle of this fast moving parade looked vaguely familiar.

Just as the party was passing, it came to me. It was Leonardo DiCaprio. Hollywood star, Oscar winner, Jack Dawson, Romeo Montague, the Wolf of Wall Street, and he was heading to the Kew Gardens pavilion.

While waiting for him to come out, I messaged my colleagues and newsdesk to tell them I’ll send a photo as soon as he’s out. The newsdesk expects but one colleague's reply was ‘Never mind a pic, get his number”. He’s still got it, has Leo.

READ MORE: Watch as actor Leonardo Di Caprio is mobbed by fans at COP26 in Glasgow's SEC

Word spreads fast, so, when he emerges, it is to a crowd ten times larger than the four or five of us there when he went in.

DiCaprio was meeting the Costa Rica President to discuss deforestation and protecting species and habitats, just in case anyone is interested in the reason he was at COP 26.

The aforementioned promised pic was impossible in the melee and Leo is ushered away through the hall towards the exit into the main SEC concourse.

But you can’t fail to deliver on a promise to the newsdesk, so I find myself plotting a detour, hurrying through the hall to head the scrum off at the pass.

Just in time to be right alongside the star and whip out my phone and get on to video mode.

Leo suddenly remembers he is a movie star and pulls out a pair of shades from his top pocket, even though he is indoors in Glasgow, in November. Or maybe the flashing of cameras had something to do with it.

I need words, I could say ‘Leo my daughter had a little postcard pic of you on the wall in the late 90s’. She did.

Instead, I call out “How are you enjoying your time in Glasgow, Leonardo?’

That, deservedly, went down like the Titanic and he was off and away up the escalator, back to his movie star world.

I had been dinghied by DiCaprio.

Hello Joe

Later, it was President Joe Biden, entering the main hall for the summit. Prime Ministers and First Ministers are one thing but to be just feet away from the so called ‘Leader of the free world’ was strange. But you can’t help smiling when you are so close to the man who defeated Donald Trump.

This time, I said nothing but an STV reporter shouted out, asking if Mr President had a message for Scottish Television viewers.

Again, unsurprisingly, there was silence.

Wrong place, right time

The night before, I was at an Extinction Rebellion protest in Kelvingrove Park, targeting the world leaders dinner in the nearby museum.

They were drumming and dancing and chanting.

But they were nowhere near Joe Biden and co, separated by trees, tennis courts, Kelvin Way, bowling greens, more trees and not least, a huge police presence.

One speaker suddenly realises only the birds in the trees can hear them and tells the crowd “The cavalcade is passing Argyle Street, perhaps we could be a presence at the roadside.”

Even in our growing cashless economy you could hear the sound of pennies dropping all around the crowd and off they went, snaking out the park, led by the drummers only to be stopped by the police one street away.

Pitch imperfect

What wasn’t funny was the amount of people, many women on their own, trying to get home to the other side of the cordon and being diverted through the park by police. Officers form other parts of the country couldn't tell people which way to go to get around the security cordon.

I walked back through the park too. It was pitch dark and it didn't feel safe and rightly, many made their feelings known through social media.

READ MORE:Glasgow's Kelvingrove Park: COP26 VIP dinner forces women to walk through dark park

Another example of the people in the city being shoved aside with little thought, to accommodate the circus coming to town.

Travel injustice

The free travel pass is another example.

As accredited media, I get free bus, train and subway travel for two weeks to get to and from the SEC from anywhere in Scotland.

I used it and immediately felt uncomfortable as others who use the bus every day, paid the ridiculously high fares we have in this city.

And they are paying for a service plagued by delays and disruption, again all to accommodate the COP 26.

Let them wear buttons

The political leader summit was not the only circus in town. The Royal Family wagon was not far behind.

For the Kelvingrove dinner, Charles and Camilla and William and Kate were on hand to welcome the guests.

We were told, courtesy of one news outlet, that Camilla was wearing a dress with ‘buttons recycled from another outfit’.

So, there we have it, Charles has a carbon footprint the size of a small country but it’s ok as it’s offset by Camilla having someone shift some buttons from one dress to another.

As Leonardo might be familiar with, this is akin to rearranging the buttons on the uniforms of the orchestra onboard the Titanic.