THERE’S some days traffic really can be the talk of the toon.

Transport must be right up there with the weather for things us Weegies love to blether about – or should I say moan about.

More often than not it’s rightfully so!

“Section of busy road to close for two weeks”.

“Major train fault leaves city in chaos”.

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Two headlines from yesterday’s Glasgow Times – and that was only pages two and three!

There’s nothing that hacks people off quite as much as traffic delays.

Bad weather is a contender of course ... combine the two and you’re in real trouble.

What I do love is some of the go-to phrases of Glaswegians when it comes to talking about traffic issues.

We hear these from the back of the cab every other day. Such as:

“The traffic is murder the day.”

(If traffic really was murder it would be doing multiple life sentences, or at least a sentence longer than this one!)

“That M8 is like a f****** car park.”

(If it was, you can bet the council would charge you to sit there!)

“Oor roads huv mair cones than an ice cream factory.”

(I got 99 problems but ma cone ain’t one!)

“That new road layout is mental – some guy in a suit in an office who has never driven in his life must have dreamt it up.”

(Suit office guy is to blame for so many things!)

“That pothole ah hit the day was bigger than the Grand Canyon.”

(An award winning Weegie exaggeration!)

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And on and on it goes.

If the traffic ever gets me down, the patter of the punters lifts me back up.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m away for an ice cream. Perfect weather for it! Stay safe.