My friend is now dating my ex husband who she constantly berated

Whilst I understand that relationships change and people move on, I am rather blown away by this discovery because all she ever did was berate him.

She regularly commented that he was fat, ugly, a waste of space and a womaniser (he had a couple of affairs), and questioned why I put up with him for all the years.

Therefore, you can imagine my shock when I saw them strolling hand in hand towards me in the shopping centre.

She almost broke her neck trying to avoid making eye contact, and he could barely lift his eyes from the floor during our chat.

I smiled and politely asked how long they had been an item.

They both stuttered and stammered and during the brief conversation I never got an answer. I sarcastically wished them well and went on my way, but later when I tried to analyse the situation, I really couldn’t get my head around it.

I am baffled and wondered what you thought? Jean.

Dear Jean, by the sounds of it you have moved on from a couple of deceitful rats who seem to have the same underhand and conniving qualities, so no loss there.

The mere fact that they couldn’t put a timescale on when they started seeing each other makes me wonder if there was an overlap in your relationships, and this pair were throwing you off the scent, because no one can dislike a person to that extend and then fall in love with them.

At the end of the day, their cunning behaviour is not worthy of your headspace.

Trust that a womaniser will always be a womaniser, but with her beady eyes constantly watching, he may never get the chance to cheat again, but his eye will still be roving, and his philandering impulses will still be there.

And as for her, well, she now has the continual stress of keeping her Casanova in check for the rest of her days.

I would take comfort in the fact that they are with each other and not ruining other people’s lives.

You are well rid of both, and I’m glad you wished them well. They’re going to need it!

Dear Janice, my son and his wife split acrimoniously last summer, and we haven’t seen our grandchildren since, and we miss them so much.

We used to look after them on a regular basis and kept them overnight every fortnight.

We have tried calling and have given our son birthday gifts etc to pass on, but we never get a text or a call from his ex.

We’re worried the children will soon forget us, if they haven’t already, and we desperately want to see them, even a video call would be better than nothing.

My son says there is little he can do because he has cut ties and wants nothing more to do with his ex or his children because of the mental stress he was put under.

What can we do? Mary.

Dear Mary, stress or no stress, your son is a dad and should be making every effort to see his children.

However, that is another battle in itself.

At present, grandparents in the UK have no inherent legal right to see their grandchildren, so check out grandparentsapart.co.uk.

This group is dedicated to helping grandparents keep in touch with their grandchildren following divorce or separation.

They focus on putting the needs of the children first but aim to help find solutions to suit the whole family. You can only try every possibility there is to find a way of rebuilding a relationship with your grandchildren, who I have no doubt will be missing you both too.

Dear Janice, nothing I do for my wife is ever good enough.

I do the weekly shop and guarantee I have forgotten something or bought the wrong item.

The kitchen is never clean enough, or dishes stacked correctly in the dishwasher, the ironing is not up to standard, the food I cook is often inedible and she criticises my driving (and parking). She corrects my grammar, she smirks at my dress sense, and I can’t remember the last time she praised or thanked me for anything.

I do my best but it’s all very draining and I don’t know how to get her to change the way she is.

I feel miserable and even that is now an issue for her too. DB.

Dear DB, you are being subliminally bullied.

Next time she asks you to do something, explain that as you didn’t do it to her standard last time, you see no point in upsetting her again with your efforts.

When she flips, (and she will), tell her quite clearly that you are now only willing to do tasks that she believes you are capable of doing, if not, it’s best that you step aside and let her carry on.

But, if you do something, she needs to lay off with the criticism. This aside, she is making your life a misery and you really need to ask yourself why you are actually with her.

Does she have any redeeming qualities?

Does she ever make you feel good about yourself?

For your sanity, please seek advice relate.org.uk/get-help/emotional-abuse.

Perhaps when she acknowledges you are done with her oppressive behaviour, she may back off.