Dear Janice, My husband’s best friend has moved into a care home, but he refuses to visit him.

I have been a few times but I’m running out of excuses as to why my husband is not with me.

I asked why he wouldn’t go and he just said he doesn’t like these sorts of places.

How can I encourage him to visit?

Mary.

Dear Mary, Care homes do not sit well with many people. Instead of looking at them as a place to live out their life in comfort with companionship, for many, they are a reminder that perhaps their lives are coming to an end.

His best friend will no doubt know he is avoiding visiting, so next time you go, set up a video call on your mobile. The care home staff will help if you need it.

I bet once the banter is flowing between the old buddies, your husband will be a regular visitor.

Dear Janice, Our son is in his early twenties and his attitude to work is shocking.

He is lazy and has a ‘couldn’t care less attitude’ which makes our blood boil.

The jobs he has had only lasted a few weeks, and although he tells us the work was boring and he packed it in, we suspect he was sacked.

Either way, he is unemployed.

His dad and I have worked all our lives, and it saddens us to watch his declining lifestyle and demeanour as he spends most of his time in his bedroom.

We fund him when we can, but we don’t have extra cash every month, in fact, we expected that he would be contributing by now as he is still living at home.

We can’t face another argument, so what do we do?

Helen.

Dear Helen, Attitudes towards work have evolved. Your generation worked at least 40 hours per week, but now part-time workers make up a quarter of the UK’s workforce.

The shifting attitude towards work is poured out through social media, where new information to develop thoughts and ideas is encouraged by influential people.

Helen, gone are the days where we secured a ‘job for life’, and this is partly why you and your husband find it so difficult to understand your son’s attitude, in short, he will only ever view your attitude as outdated, and not something to aspire to.

In today’s world, surviving without a job is virtually impossible unless you have very rich parents, so step into his shoes and find out what makes him tick.

Encourage independence by means of hope for the future, because without hope, nothing is possible.

Talk through his possibilities and hone in on his skillset to help him look beyond the mundane jobs he shies away from.

My concern is the amount of time he spends in his room as social interaction is crucial.

Start small with a positive chat, restrain from having another go at him and take it from there.