Dear Janice, my son seems heartbroken after his girlfriend dumped him and nothing I do or say makes him feel any better.  

He is only 14 and far too young to be so distressed and upset over a girl.  

At his age I was out with my friends, carefree and loving life whereas he has the world on his shoulders before he has even started to shave!  

What can I do to help him get over this girl and stay clear of relationships for a few years?  

AR.  

Dear AR, your thoughts are based on your youth, but your son’s environment is massively different.  

First crushes start at 13 to 15 years of age, and this is how teenagers learn to communicate with people they are interested in.  

Falling in love as a teenager is more intense than as an adult, partly due to brain development and hormonal changes which can make feelings more intense, passionate and impulsive, and why relationships often burn out after a few months. They fall in love quickly and fall out of love equally as fast!  

Social media (which you barely experienced) can also influence how teenagers perceive romance.    

Maturity is individual, and your son has a lot of growing up to do, so for now let him learn how to deal with his emotions. Don’t lecture him, but instead distract him with other activities.  

Teen love is real, so don’t brush it aside, just be there for him.    

 

Dear Janice, my beautiful wife of nearly 40 years passed away four years ago, and I am desperately lonely.  

I have courted a few ladies, but none have the old-fashioned values I am used to, in fact, most practically want the shirt off your back!    

I’m not loaded, but I am comfortable and could offer the right lady a nice, loving home and a good lifestyle. I would look after her and love her in return for companionship and loyalty.  

What do you advise?  Jim.  

Dear Jim, you sound like you are looking to rehome an abandoned dog!  

The world has moved on from your courtship days, and not necessarily for the better! Courting was unpretentious and relationships were forged in an uncomplicated and less demanding way.  

People like yourself get despondent when they pin their hopes on someone who fails to live up to their expectations. So, take a step back.  

There are lovely ladies out there who are not after your cash, it’s just a case of finding that special one. But remember, you only need to get lucky once, so don’t give up.  

I reckon it would be a good idea to strike up friendships first and take it from there.  

This way you can mutually discover all the likes and dislikes about each other before you enter into a romantic relationship. Worst case scenario you have gained a friend.  

Good luck in your quest, and I hope you manage to rehome a lovely lady soon.  

 

Got a question for our agony aunt? Email askjanice@glasgowtimes.co.uk