Dear Janice, My wife’s friend is emigrating and although I was aware that she was offloading some bits of furniture and clothes, I couldn’t believe my eyes when my wife appeared with a chinchilla in a cage and a lizard in a tank!

I am furious as I’ve made it clear since we were dating that it was never an option to have pets, so why would she ignore me and bring these things home?

I am so angry that she disrespected my decision, and now I don’t know what to do or say next without exploding. Paul.

Dear Paul, Calm down before you keel over!

Your wife is out of order, but perhaps she was in a position where she couldn’t say no.

These new arrivals are confined, not freely running about your home, so chill, break the silence and ask her what plans she has for them.

Maybe she will rehome them, but if not, do you have an outhouse where they could live?

I wonder if you have unpleasant childhood memories influencing your thoughts regarding pets. This might be a conversation you should have with your wife as way of explanation instead of simply spouting ‘my house, my rules’.

I admit these aren’t your run-of-the-mill house creatures, and I wouldn’t have them in my home, but then again, I’m not married to your wife!

So, chat about this before she packs up and leaves with a cage and a tank under each arm!

Dear Janice, My 30-year-old husband is infatuated with a sixth-year pupil he teaches.

Her name seems to crop up in almost every conversation, and he talks openly about her to anyone who will listen.

My sister says that if he is being so open about her, then it’s just man talk and it’s normal for men to find younger females attractive.

I joked that I thought he had a thing for her, and he laughed it off saying I was an old jealous wife with a vivid imagination, but I am worried.

Is my sister right? Should I drop the subject? Anon.

Dear Anon, Some sister! Ignore her because this is not how grown men should behave.

Next time he mentions her, stop him in his tracks and point out that he is infatuated with a young girl whom he is paid to teach, not lust after.

Tell him you understand it’s natural to have stray thoughts but his infatuation with a pupil is not just creepy, but unprofessional and disloyal.

Being open with everyone about her does not mean he is innocent of any wrongdoing. Quite the opposite. Agreed, he may not be physically cheating on you, but his head is clearly elsewhere.

There are so many questions relating to this that it would be wise to seek expert help through couples counselling. His ego might just take a dip when it is made clear by a third-party professional just how damaging his obsessive behaviour could be.