Dear Janice, my son has found the love of his life, and I was so happy for him until he announced that she was emigrating to New Zealand and when settled, he was moving there to be with her if he can secure a job.
I smiled when he told me, but really, I am devastated.
I know I can’t stop him, but all my dreams for the future have changed.
I will only see him once in a blue moon and I won’t be able to be a proper granny to their children.
I don’t know how to cope with it all. Jean.
Dear Jean, this doesn’t mean the end of being a good mum (or granny). On the contrary, it could be the start of something new and exciting.
Of course, it will not be the future you planned, but that’s life!
You can video call every single day, plus visit them and they could come home, so perhaps you’d get to spend quality, fun times with them a couple of times a year.
Jean, many families live in the same town and don’t see each other from one month to the next.
So, difficult as it may be, I don’t think you have much choice but to embrace your son’s future plans (if they happen) and be happy that he is happy.
Dear Janice, my boyfriend stormed out of my flat last week after an argument, and I haven’t seen him since.
I’m gutted because the argument was over such a trivial matter that I don’t understand why a week later he still won’t see me.
I hate falling out, but despite knowing I’d done nothing wrong, I apologised repeatedly. However, he said he was still angry with me.
I am in bits and can’t stop crying. I begged him to meet up to fix this, but he texts and said he needs time to think, and he’ll be in touch.
He is normally such a loving guy, and I miss him so much, but I don’t know how to get us back on track. Joan.
Dear Joan, this “loving” boyfriend knows his absence is causing you distress, but still chooses to keep his distance.
A truly loving guy would sort this mess and look after you.
I reckon this slimy character checked out a long time ago and has been waiting for you to give him a reason to end this relationship, and the first chance he got, he turned an insignificant disagreement into a major drama to suit his agenda.
If he had been mature and honest and explained that things haven’t worked out for him, then yes, you’d be gutted, but treating you this way is cruel and unforgivable.
Cry, sob and mourn over this, but further down the line, you’ll be grateful you are no longer with someone of this ilk.
Learn the lessons this experience has taught you and move on to better things.
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