Dear Janice,

Hallowe'en is around the corner and our young kids are so excited. As a family, we love putting together their Hallowe'en costumes, and they love dressing up and going from door to door with their friends.

However, my in-laws put a complete dampener on it as it doesn’t fit in with their religious beliefs.

They have criticized us in the past about how it's not all about silly costumes etc and that we should teach our kids the true meaning of these important occasions (they’re the same at Easter and Christmas), but our kids are young and even if we did chat to them, we don’t think they’d give a toss.

We found out that whilst babysitting, they lectured the kids to the point that they came home upset and not wanting to dress up because Hallowe'en was all about ‘dead people’.

I dread years of this, so what can I do?

Kirsty.

 

Dear Kirsty,

The religious element of many occasions is not always known or celebrated, and few people in today’s modern world are aware, or care, about the history of Hallowe'en.

For most, it’s simply a bit of fun and a time for children (and adults), to dress up, party and trick or treat.

You, as parents choose when, how and where to celebrate and enjoy family occasions, and equally it’s your choice if you want to educate your children about the back story behind each event.

The issue you have is the unwanted interference by your in-laws.

I assume you have already had words, so clearly spell it out that if they don’t back off ramming their beliefs down your kids’ throats, then around such occasions, they will see very little of their grandchildren.

It’s simple, respect each others’ views and agree to disagree.

 

Dear Janice.

My husband is never off his phone these days and I’m concerned he is up to something.

He used to leave it lying around but now he even takes it to the toilet!

I trust him, but I have this awful niggling feeling that something isn’t right.

How can I get to the bottom of this without accusing him of something I’m not even sure he is doing?

Jean.

 

Dear Jean,

Something isn’t right because one behavioural change usually means there are others.

Changes in a person is a reaction to circumstances, personality, mood or wellbeing.

Whilst its easy to draw conclusions that he’s having an affair, there could be other explanations.

Gambling, a personal traumatic incident, pressures of work, medications, etc could all have an effect on his behaviour.

Our mental state is never guaranteed balance, therefore triggers of all sorts can tip the scales leading to changes in a person.

Voice your concerns to his closest confidant, and if nothing transpires then ask him outright. He may be relieved that he can now share what’s at the root of all this.

I hope you get to the bottom of it soon.

 

Got a question for our agony aunt? Email askjanice@glasgowtimes.co.uk