Dear Janice, my husband and I are in our late 50s, the kids are grown up and have families of their own and we are bored with each other.

Our routine is the same day in, day out. We come home from work and are too tired to do anything, just watch telly then bed. We don’t have sex anymore either.  

Both of us have put on a fair bit of weight and neither of us can foresee our lives changing.  

We decided to separate after Christmas and New Year, but it’s such a huge upheaval after all these years together that we barely know where to begin.  

We made a list of all the things we need to consider and were overwhelmed.  

For example, who moves out, or do we sell our home and buy a flat each? How do we split our car in two? Do we have separate bank accounts, and then there’s our dog. The list goes on.  

Where do we start? Linda.

 

Dear Linda, I’ll tell you where to start: by considering your children’s feelings in all of this.  

Mind-blowingly, they don’t appear to be on your separation to do list!  

They may well be adults but trust me when I tell you that your separation or divorce will be like a bomb going off in their lives – no matter what age they are.  

Further down the line the time may come when you’ll want to introduce them to new partners and their siblings, and this will be yet another challenge.  

I suspect, like many couples, you’ve let everything slide into oblivion. Your social life, sex life, friendship, health and fitness, and this list goes on too. Perhaps you are in a rut, or perhaps you’re just plain lazy!  

So, take a giant step back and make another list. One with all the things you foresee yourselves doing as single people heading into their 60s, and ask why you’re not doing these things together now.  

There were reasons you married each other, so start with a health check, fitness check and reality check, and take it from there.  

 

Dear Janice, a few times now I have witnessed my colleague stealing.  

Amongst other things, she’s taken people’s food from the fridge, cartons of milk and teabags from the kitchen.  

She is unaware that I’ve seen her, and I don’t want to say anything to her as we would be mutually embarrassed, but it’s difficult when my colleagues search for stuff I know she has taken.  

What should I do? Sharon.  

 

Dear Sharon, this situation may go deeper than a bit of petty theft as your colleague could be struggling financially and doesn’t have enough to feed herself. For her welfare and before things get out of hand (she could lose her job), share your concerns with her line manager.  

Your colleague needs help, and this is the right thing to do for all concerned.

Got a question for our agony aunt? Email askjanice@glasgowtimes.co.uk