The Olympics started on Friday, July 26 and will conclude on Sunday, Aug 11 with the closing ceremony.
That's 16 days, or, a little more than two weeks, for scores to be settled and medals to be handed out to the best and brightest Olympic competitors.
But, I feel a lot of events have had their time.
People often talk about who is the greatest Olympian of all time and the general consensus is that it's the swimmer Michael Phelps. Why? Because he won 28 medals, 23 of which are gold. Yeah all right, fair play Michael.
🇺🇸 🇺🇸 @michaelphelps reacting to his #1 spot on ESPN's top 100 pro athletes of the 21st century!
— World Aquatics (@WorldAquatics) July 22, 2024
📽️ @patmcafeeshow & @espn & @michaelphelps pic.twitter.com/IUZZ7IfNlQ
However, there are 37 swimming events at the Olympics - 35 in the pool and two in open water. In the pool, there are 16 events per gender and one mixed event, consisting of four different strokes and distances. Phelps typically competed in 8 different swimming events per Olympics.
Talk about over-saturation.
The original Olympic Games in 776 BCE in Olympia, Greece featured a variety of events, including:
- Stadion: A stadium-length running race that was the only event at the first Olympics
- Hoplitodromos: A running event where competitors ran while wearing full armour
- Pentathlon: A five-event Greek gymnastics competition that included running, jumping, wrestling, discus throwing, and javelin throwing
For that matter, I feel that we need to go back to basics. Just imagine Mo Farah running around in a full suit of armour.
Here are the Olympic events that I, personally, feel have had their time:
Kayak
Hmm, seems like the river rapids to me. Congratulations, you’re good at Alton Towers.
Equivalent to Lewis Hamilton 'winning' at Legoland.
Archery
Far too slow and dull.
I want moving targets, double arrow combinations, and apples on heads.
If Robin Hood took half an hour and adjusted for wind to save his mates from the noose, then that BBC show would’ve ended far sooner.
Swap it for darts.
Synchronised swimming
I just think of hippos in the old BBC advert, let it die.
Dressage
Britain's Charlotte Dujardin, a six-time Olympic dressage medallist, withdrew from the Paris Games on Tuesday after the video emerged, saying it showed her "making an error of judgement".
The video, obtained by the BBC, showed Dujardin repeatedly whipping a horse around its legs during the session.
Following this, animal rights group PETA renewed its call for equestrian sports to be banned from the Olympics, saying "horses don’t volunteer - they can only submit to violence and coercion".
Dujardin was suspended by the world governing body - the International Federation for Equestrian Sports (FEI) - and pulled out of the Paris Olympics.
Terrible, obviously, but I take issue with the horses as well.
Remember back in the days when cowboys shot at each other whilst dangling off their sides?
I'm not having any of this woke dancing lark, act your (neigh)age. Be a horse and gallop properly.
Weightlifting
It emasculates me.
Diving
A 3-metre diver meets a 10-metre diver at a school reunion. Need I say more?
Stick to one height or scrap it.
3rd personal best conquered at the World Athletics Race Walking Tour (Gold level)Taichang! China🌟
— Priyanka goswami (@Priyanka_Goswam) March 3, 2024
Finished 7th in the 20km with a timing of and feeling incredibly proud of this achievement. A heartfelt thanks to @Media_SAI , and @afiindia @GoSportsVoices @KIITUniversity… pic.twitter.com/POqGWcbaxN
Race walking
You’ve spent years training for this moment. All your friends and family are huddled around the telly in your local pub to watch you perform on the biggest stage.
If you win, you’re guaranteed the front page of your local paper, a free pint in any pub, and rapturous applause from both your ex-teachers and adoring youngsters on the inevitable return to your old school.
To put it plainly, you’d be living a life you only see in films. Glory awaits.
And your event is…a Sunday ramble with Ruth.
The constipated-dash-to-the-toilet-technique just doesn't do it for me. Run.
Beach volleyball
Can see why some countries do it, but I’m not having it over here in Rhyl.
Hockey
“That was some thrilling hockey," is the perfect oxymoron.
Watching this is like listening to Russell Brand.
What Olympic sports do you think should be scrapped? Let us know in the comments
Joking aside, if you manage to make it to the Olympics in any capacity you are clearly at the top of your field and deserve the full support of your country.
So without further ado, let the games begin.
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