Connor Goldson has admitted he wanted to die after undergoing life-changing heart surgery in 2017.
The Rangers defender is now seven years on from that fateful moment in his life, while he was still on the books at Brighton and Hove Albion.
The footballer was diagnosed with an aortic aneurysm – a swelling of the large artery that passes through the abdomen which was at risk of bursting with potentially catastrophic consequences
He underwent surgery, aged 24, which was successful and a large scar remains on his chest.
@RangersFC footballer Connor Goldson opens up for the first time about his life changing surgey and the emotions he was feeling at the time.
— Talkingtransitions (@Talktransitions) April 17, 2024
A first glimpse behind the scenes of his life and career to date.
Full episode goes live 23.04.24@thisisibrox @ibroxrocks @RangersTV pic.twitter.com/moAzY8orQB
Now, speaking to Talking Transitions - a podcast about mental health, injuries and dual careers, Goldson has opened up on speaking to his wife about the sheer pain of his operation and wanting to die.
"I was bad," the 31-year-old admitted. "That had to break my chest bone, literally with a saw.
"The Brighton doctor actually came into the operation, so he managed to take some pictures. I've got pictures of my heart on my phone.
"They sawed straight through my chest, from here to here. Opened it up, done the operation.
"The first night I was full of drugs, I was out of it. Then the second night it hit me.
"I was in the hospital bed and I remember texting Kayleigh saying 'I just want to die, I can't go through this pain'."
READ MORE: Rangers hero Connor Goldson ‘could have died’ before risky heart surgery
Previously addressing his scar, he said: “I don’t see it anymore, it’s just part of me, part of my body.
“It looks nice. I like it because it shows what I’ve been through. The only thing with a scar is when you are in the showers here people ask questions. I don’t mind talking about it now.
“Truthfully, I’ve never really spoken about it openly because it was a difficult time, but I also felt fortunate that I was able to continue playing, so I’ve never really wanted sympathy."
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